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“I’ll be happy when…”

I’m sure we’ve all had that thought at some point:

  • “I’ll be happy when I’ve lost X lbs”
  • “I’ll be happy when I meet my dream guy/girl”
  • “I’ll be fulfilled when I get that new job”
  • “I’ll be happy when I feel comfortable in my own skin”
  • “I’ll be happy when I can finally start my fitness journey”

Even when we realise that happiness is a choice that we can make NOW, we still attach our feelings to the end result. We attach our ability to be happy to an external outcome, and we forget that we can choose to feel that way now!

We often get distracted away from the truth of our goals

Generally, we attach how we want to feel to this external outcome.  

“If I do X then I will be Y” –
e.g. “If I am in a relationship then I will be happy”

We forget that Y is the dream destination.  That happiness is the goal, not necessarily the relationship.

We don’t dream of having a partner just for the sake of it.  Perhaps we dream of having our physical and emotional needs met, maybe of being less lonely and feeling that connection, of all the activities and fun that could be done together.

If we really dig deep, we don’t dream of saying “YASSS I’ve lost exactly 7lbs and now I’m perfect and happy”.  We dream of how we’d feel if we lost 7lbs; how we would perceive our life to look and ourselves to act if we did. 

But, if I asked you: is it then the weight loss or the relationship status that you are craving, or is it the feeling that you associate with the outcome? And why are you stopping yourself from feeling that way now?

What is holding you back?

It’s easy to attach our desired feelings to an external event.  Sometimes it even gives us a reason to not have to take action on it now! 

“I would be happier if I got a new job, but… <insert obstacle here>”

Maybe you need to brush up on some skills first.  Re-write your CV.  Network a little.  

But you don’t.  

Because settling for less is sometimes easier than taking action and stepping out of your comfort zone.  

It’s a whole lot of pressure if you have all of your hopes, dreams and future happiness pinned on one external event!

I don’t want to go too far into the Law of Attraction and all of that, but I’m definitely a believer in living as if we’ve already got to that dream destination.  

What happened if we stopped putting our happiness on the back-burner, and started living like we were happy right now?

  • Would we feel more comfortable and confident with our bodies if we turned our back on the diet industry BS and focused on loving ourselves as we are?
  • Would we be so bothered about attracting someone into our lives if we were vibrant and fulfilled already? Chances are we’d attract them all if we lived our fullest lives!
  • Can we change our mindset in our current job role, or focus on improving our lifestyle to make us more content? 

We don’t always need all of these external events to take place before we allow ourselves to live fully.   If you are putting your happiness on hold until you achieve some external goal, maybe it’s time to let go and start living now.